Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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