my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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