No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize