so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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