You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
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