We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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