U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
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look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
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You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
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