dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
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I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
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I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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