The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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