Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
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My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
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I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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