You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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