all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
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He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
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Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
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