this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize