I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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