i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
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