It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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