why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
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Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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