I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
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Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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