i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize