im having a threesome with these popsicles
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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