I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I wear drunk well.
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