And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Two words: blizzard sex
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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