OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
50% drunk capacity currently
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize