I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize