I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
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