Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize