I queefed so loud it echoed.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize