I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Your mouth is God's brothel.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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