hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
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