Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
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Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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