This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
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I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
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its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I need mimosas to revive my soul
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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