He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
nutella sex= disaster
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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