please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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