evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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