i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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