dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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