i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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