am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
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I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
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New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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