Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you are never too drunk for berry picking
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Randomize