dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
It's blow job season.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize