im drinking this country out of the recession.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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