He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3pm strippers are depressing
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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