Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
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