Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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