Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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