My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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