who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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