HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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