I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize