Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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